The wonders of Lego!

It is a registered trademark.

What can you do with it besides build mindless Harry Potter castles and reconstrut a pixelated version of the Taj Mahal?

Porn.

Lego porn. Or block structure porn.

For the more religious types, the Bible retold with the magic of six pointed blocks.

There still quite a bit of porn, umm sex, and violence in it.

Such is the magic of the old testament.

I am always slightly horrified by how gruesome the bible is.

Incest, wars, beheadings, hookers, death by many imaginative ways, strip shows, umm man-love...

What else can one do with Lego?

Stick it up your...







nose.

Ah yes, the bible, a guide to muff diving.

Remember, the husband must give to his wife what she has a right to expect.

I shall replace 'husband' with 'man'. And woman with 'ME'.

What do I say?

I wish I could have let you go before we all got hurt.

I wish I didn't still love you.

I wish I was not the person I turned out to be.

I wish I did Drama instead of Disability Studies.

I wish I liked Disability Studies.

I wish I could cry and mourn.

I wish I didn't depend on other people so much.

I wish I had more money today.

I wish I had a magic wand.

I wish I could make all the scars go away.

I wish I knew that one must never fall asleep on a hot water bottle.

I wish I understood the meaning of life.

I wish I never met you.

I wish I met you later.

I wish I spoke another language.

I wish I knew how to budget.

I wish I were skinner.

I wish I were happier.

I wish I was back in Singapore.

I wish I never had to go back.

I wish the thought of my dogs didn't make me cry.

I wish my Hongie were nearer.

I wish Su and Erica were nearer as well.

I wish I had the money to go to Japan to see Erica.

I wish I could make all this go away.

I wish I didn't care.

I wish I wasn't here.

I wish too much.

But, mostly, I wish everyone the best in life.

No matter how much an individual has hurt me or made me laugh, I wish you the best in life.

You think what?!?

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

It's not just the missing, its the wanting.

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have."

I don't know who said that, but it's not true.

The worst thing anyone has ever said to me was," I can never love you the way you love me."

And my heart was broken.

It's repaired, somewhat.

Life makes you think.

Recently, a friend of mine, an old friend decided he was not going to be of this earth anymore.

I was so angry.

How dare he, how dare he leave me here alone?

How dare he leave me to face the world alone?

I still haven't cried.

Someone said he was selfish.

I'm angry at him, I am.

But more than that, I'm envious.

Life here in Adelaide has been too fucking difficult lately.

Too many fights, too many snide remarks online, too much missing and wanting.

As I mentioned in an earlier entry, I was smitten.

In a way, I still am.

But being smitten and doing something about it, perhaps, was the most silly thing I have done.

But in some strange way, I don't regret it.

I already miss him.

I think I overstepped a boundry.

I miss my friend who is no longer here, and I miss the smitteee as well.

What was the first line again?

Ahhh... Yes...

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

We would never work out.

I spent the night with him last night.

I heard the bad news and ran to smitteee. He is a friend as well after all.

I yelled, and smoked and yelled a bit more.

Getting the anger out.

I smoked a bit more, and I asked if I could stay.

I hate being alone sometimes.

Like now.

Alone cos I don't want to call. People have lives. I wish this blog was a bit more secret.

But, I digress.

So I stayed. We cuddled, we kissed. I snored. Or so I was told.

I slept, comforted by his touch.

And tonight, I feel so cold.

I feel like I have not lost just one, but two people.

But, oh smitteee, I think I never had thee.

I think I never will.

The differences are too great.

I wish people wouldnt give me a hard time over smitteee.

I tend to think with my heart more than my head.

A person once told me, I cared too much and was not made for this world.

And thus, maybe, I should be unmade.

Antoine speaks the truth! Or I like to think so

My my my, how life is as such.

"Let me tell you a secret. It is simple. One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential
is invisible to the eyes."

Or in french,

"Voici mon secret. Il est très simple : on ne voit bien qu'avec
le coeur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."

I quote from one of my favorite books, The Little Prince, by Antoine-Marie-Roger de Saint-Exupery.

Another quote,

"On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essential est invisible pour les
yeux."

Shall I translate?

"One does not see well except with the heart. The things that are essential
are unseen by the eyes"

What do you think?

It sounds similar, I know it does.

Maybe I am getting to something.

I'm glad I have a small tiny unimportant blog that no one reads.
It actually gladdens my heart.

Myst has been complaining or commenting more like, about readers
whom bitch and complain.

I don't have that problem.

So I can tell all that I want here.

Or most of it.

I'm glad for my friends. No matter how I act sometimes.

I sometimes break down and hid. Cos i need to. It's not cos I
really want to.

The world scares me.

I lost so much and so many people.

But, I love taking chances.

I love the world sometimes.

I'm lost between two people right now.

I'm smitten.

I admit it.

I won't say I'm in love, but I am smitten.

He's cute.

And smart.

Sometimes smart anyway.

And everytime I see him, I just want to kiss him.

He's just so cute.

Here's the problem.

He's him.

That's the problem.

I can't say much more.

I don't know what to say.

I'm smitten.

I'm seeing too much with my heart I think.

And not enough with my head.

But for now, the heart wins.

I wonder when I can next see him and kiss him.

As I said, I'm smitten.

Not in love as I was.

But similar.

I'm too dysfuntional to have a 'love' relationship right now.

Smitten is safer.

And that's where I'm staying.

Of Mice and Rain

Damn blogspot and its inability to accept japanese charaters.

How do they do it at the J-list blog?

My friend, Mamajaja, wrote the most beautiful haiku. Haikus, if you may not know, is a form of Japanese poetry. Haiku is one of the most important form of traditional japanese poetry. Haiku is, today, a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.

Mama is in Japan at the moment. Some place near Osaka. I be jealous. But english haikus are a bit odd.

She shared one that had me rolling on the floor.

I have to figure out how to get the kanji out. But for now, us peons must make do with romanji.

Numa de shine.

Nuno ni tsutsunda

Nurenezumi.

Direct translation: Go die in the Swamp, wrapped in a cloth drowned rat.

Im still giggling. Plus her wonderful comments about 'dear john' letters.

I love her and miss her too much. I shall prod on with my work.

Work on the haikus mama, i think you may get work as a comic relief writer some day.

Poor poor grumpy Yuki-kun. Gimme a picture mama.

Work, work and work...

I have sooooo much work, it's not funny.

And I rediscovered my childhood yesterday.

It was a sunny sunday.

There was badminton, itchy grass, barefoot play and loads of sweat and laughter.

And the wind always seems to start up once a person says the word 'badminton'.

BADMINTON BADMINTON BADMINTON

Waiting for the cyclone to hit Adelaide.

Since nothing has happened, I presume it's safe to continue.

Cant be too careful these days.

I have work.

Too much work.

But yesterday, I was transported.

And with all those positive feelings, came a few non-great ones.

I smoke now.

I drink now.

I'm not exactly a virgin.

And what happened?

I'm not too sure.

Time changes all.

But as time goes, I can see my assignment deadline coming closer.

*tick tock tick tock*

:(

So work work work, is what I should do.

I shall push my lazy ass harder today.

I miss having someone waking up next to me.

Hmmm...

Sick sick sick...

Maybe a bit physically.

Too much wine. Vino. Alcohol.

I hate being made to feel gulity.

Advice is fine, talking over issues is good.

But thats talk. I mean, no matter what, I need to make up my own mind in life. Whether it be having butter chicken or beef vindaloo for dinner.

I know my decisions hurts the people I care about. But, in recent times, or years, I have become more selfish that way.

Advice is given freely, no one is obligated to follow it. Unlike following the speed limit or stealing from huge financial institutions.

I talk to people as well, I do get a bit hurt when they don't follow my advice but I try not to give it out too much.

As my mother used to say,"I can talk all I want, but I know you are just gonna do it your way anyway."

My way may not be the best way in your mind.

But it's my choice, I dig my grave, i mean make my bed, I lie in it.

It's a chance I'm willing to take.

Cos, at the end of the day, all I can depend on, is me.

I'm the only person gonna look after me and love me.

Might make it a lonely existance, but it's a choice I make.

I live with it.

Hmmm

I'm tipsy as I write this...

I'm worried bout becoming an alcoholic.

I drink everyday and in huge amounts.

But it feels so good.

Mourning

Luck and Joy and Grief and I set off together into the world of
exsistance.

Luck lay down and Joy ran off.

But Grief and I go wandering on .

A Persian poem. author unknown.

Well, I didn't quite do that quite right. I don't seem to do anything quite right. Maybe we all just need space. From time to time. Maybe differences get too much.

I still consider most people my friends. Even the ones I havent seen. If Qiu came up one day, I would welcome her with open arms, no matter how much we both hurt each other.

This isn't a hint.

I'm just at a loss now. I seem to have lost an important person. I don't know if it will ever get better.

I hope so. I can't stand the pain right now.

I feel so much, I'm numb.

Don't leave comments saying I'm whining.

I'm just sad.