Flowers!

Decided to go back to my roots, pun intended, today. Being named after a plant, it's amazing the comments people can come up with.

I was walking in the Krangi War Memorial today with my best friend, Hongie. We were taking pictures and having a great time.

I was remembering how after school, I used to cut across here to get home.

Stories for another day.

Hope you enjoy the flowers. It is actually my own work. Apparently, I take better pictures of inanimate objects.

A Small Rant

Its been raining, a lot. It's times like this I wonder why people in certain western countries complain about the rain. I know, it must be bad, but wait til you experience a hard ass south east asian monson storm. It's like God and his minions throwing BUCKETS and BUCKETS of water straight onto you.

It's terrible to drive in.

Trust me on that. But I decided to share the picture I took outside my bro's school, just before it rained.

And it's 3 more days til I see my Mamajaja.

And I finally had my first shouting match with my mother since I came back.

Joy.

I was thinking a lot today. Why do I smoke?
When i was younger, I hated smoke. In a way, I still do. I hate the smell that lingers on your clothes, hands and breath.
It's rancid and puke-worthy. But, what is it about the nicotine that makes me happy?

It's calming. I get angry and with one magical drag... *poof* I'm easier to deal with. That's what kept me from physically hurting my ex-housemate all year long.

But, there is something sensual about the cigerette as well.

The swirls of smoke, the tendrils that curl in the air before disappearing, it is, for lack of a better word, pretty.

Annabelle Chong couldn't have said it better.

Not an exact quote but she went along the lines of good christain girls don't smoke, don't drink and don't have sex.

*shrugs*

Ummm... It's kinda hard to live up to. It's hard to live up to a religion that wants you to abstain from almost everything fun. Don't get me wrong, I love God, in my own way. But, the human element, gets me down.

And how can I obey a pope that looks like the devil himself?

Wait, I take that back. The devil must be prettier. He has to entice and tempt. Hell, no one gonna be enticed by someone looking like that. Fuck, no.

Well, off to Malaysia tomorrow. Will take more pictures then. Su! Milla! I need shopping buddies! *sobs* Why you two are so far away?

"I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day and assume they deserve it." - Dogbert

Photos for Phil!

To Phil,

the guy on the other side of the world who cheers me up with his awesome photos of people and places around France,

I have some photos of places in Singapore and Adelaide for you here. The Adelaide photos of are not my work. I cannot take photographs. I am, I assure you, one of the world's worst photographers. But I try! I know I have posted some up before, but, I like them. SO THERE!

Well, enjoy!

The River Torrens

More food, crispy chicken...

And the everbeloved MRT!!!

My Grandmama, the feisty 91 (92?) year old still can cook. She makes the BEST Nasi Ulam... And sambal belchan!

Well, I guess that's all for the moment. I didn't do too badly I think. Cheers to Milla for Adelaide photographs. I think you don't appreiate what you have til you don't. Like my Grandma, she cries everytime she sees me now, and I remember her running after me with a cane to whack me for playing with her makeup. I used it for 'masak masak'.

This a basically pretend cooking. You have tiny saucepans and pots and you cook for the faries and brownies that live at the bottom of the garden. Too much Enid Blyton as a child. Her perfume became soup, the lipstick was fish(which is ironic cos lipsticks actually do contain fish) and her eyeshadow was seasonings. I remember using the blue one for pepper. How times change and people grow.

Well, to Phil and my Grandma, may you both have many years of health and happiness to come!

PS Milla and Su, my beloved wives, I miss you both very very very very very much... I cry and weep with sorrow at our cruel parting...

This is how I feel...

Since coming back... All I felt is...






































Empty.

Home Vs Home

Where exactly is home?

People have been refering to Adelaide as well as Singapore as home. The most interesting person to do so was my mother. Although she still habours a hope that I will see the light and turn into a good Catholic and come back to our flourishing island nation. The MRT (mass rapid transport or train) that runs near my place provides an interesting view of the Krangi Turf Club.

I don't know bout the last bit, but oh well.

I mean I come back to Singapore to ridiculus smoking laws, and I thought old SA was bad! Im suprised I didnt get fined.

Anyway, new laws are abound. How can you not like this country? Where they try and control your every move?

I like the new STAND BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE UNLESS THERE IS A TRAIN THAT YOU WISH TO BROAD.

I giggled much when I saw this.

But I'm mostly sick of everyone going on about my weight/'fat'/size/shape. I don't care.

I am happy with my body!

Can people not get that? I want no diets or shit. I also know I'm not perfect but would people stop rubbing it in my face?

I stole some pictures from the wife. Even she can make Adelaide look good.

Isn't it pretty?

Maybe someday, I shall know where home is. Til then, I shall take advice from Tyson the 'Cat'. He believes he's a dog. Seriously.

Sleep well, eat well, occasionally let people near you so that they value your touch and company more. Also, if you don't have to move, don't.

Also destroy whatever new furniture you can, after all, you are king.

Or Queen in my case. Wait!

Princess! Princesses are so much younger than Queens.

A Guide to Wives

From one wife, I jump to another.

Oh Su! I miss you terribly already. Tis sad we are, yet again, seperated by many continents. Only comfort this time is that Asia is not one of them.

I also miss beloved wife of Norway. I can't seem to upload pictures of her!

I lied! She is too pretty. Look at her smile.

The trick to keeping 2 wives happy is to make them believe they are the only ones in your life. One need never know about the other.

Except my pair.

The sister-wives plot against me as I speak. So, to keep them happy, I pour as much alcohol as possible into one, and the other?

As much food-sex as possible. You should hear the moans and groans and quivers that follow the words, "Nasi Ulam".

But, I often get the question, is it difficult having two women?

And the answer is,

YES

It is. Very hard. But I have enough love for them both. And if all else fails, I still have my pets.

Opps! Wrong one.

Umm... Pets... Pets...

So, it's Cookie (my brown doggie) and Lynn the Mouse for me. At least they will always love me. And my great manhood. Which I keep in my PAAAAANTS!!!

Miss you two so much. One on each side of the world.

It's a lonely life for the wandering man.

PS Never NEVER NEVER ever let them find out about your multiple concubines. Death may result.

Just a few thoughts have occured to me today.

1. Why is it that you are treated better as a tourist of a city? I got such great table service and free gelati cos the waiter presumed I was a tourist.
2. Why is it that being Catholic, automatically means that I must hate Muslims? I have many Muslim friends and I do not like/dislike people on the basis of their choice of religion. Unless you try and ram it down my throat.
3. How is that that if I have nice underwear, my mother assumes I am having sex?
4. And how can you like someone, care for someone and yet not want to see them?
5. Lastly, I promise, I seem to get myself into hot water.

What now? Well, my ex's friend has been travelling the world. And he stayed with me in Singapore when my ex visited. 2 men in my bed and I wasn't in it. Shame.

Well, ex's friend (here now refered to as EF) is having a stopover again. My parent's actually prefer EF to ex cos they liked the fact that he had more brains.

And I think my father is the only man in Singapore to rejoice if I ever choose to marry a Jewish man. That was a side thought cos EF is Jewish.

Well, how am I to face him? I said yes too quickly. And now, I regret it.

The ex and me had a messy breakup. Over shisha. I also did it on his 2nd day in Singapore and that was cos I cheated on him.

*slap on wrist*

I know. I'm a bad person. But, is letting or even seeing EF such a bad thing?

I had a small thing (fine, crush) on EF. I won't do anything, heaven forbid. But, I wouldn't know what to say.

I dig my own grave and therefore I must die in it.

PS BAck to Singapore in 2 days. My mother makes me pee in my pants.

Just a quick one before I head off to the beach in my new bikini.

I got one reply or request. He's 42.

And not the best looking.

Oh well, its the internet and I think I shall stop my little experiment.

I think life or males are complicated enough without me trying.

By the way, the bikini is green and white. Shall take a picture. I have a nice tanned back.

P.S. Shall assult my bouncer later tonight. Isn't it bad if you go somewhere often enough that the bouncer knows more about the men you are kissing than you even do? My mother would die if she knew the things he knew!!!

Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît pas

French, again!!!

This time, from the French philosopher Blaise Pascal, which when translated means, that the heart has its reasons that the mind does not know.

However, he also did Maths, therefore his mind may have been a bit confused.

Someone recently described me as "funny and nice but *prolonged pause* a bit werid."

A very funny yet apt description in my humble opinion.

I think my mind wanders from topic to topic.

But on to what I wanted to talk about.

People suprise me sometimes.

I can get told to "go back to where you belong" by some people and yet some can be so nice.

I got a new bra today. *giggle*

It's catus green according to the tag. But Milla was missing when I tried it on so I peeked out to search for her.

Instead, I was met by two mothers. So, who better to ask an opinion than a mother?

So, my bra fitted well (1) and the colour looked great on me(2), and my tan was very nice (3). It seems to be however, that the nicer people meet tend to be female.

Why is it so?

Adelaide is crawling with male scum. And a few nice females. I may be making a bit of a sweeping statement, but are there any nice males out there? Every racist slur I get, is from a man.

I'm back in Singapore in a few days. I can wait. I miss my dogs and friends. However, my mother will drive me slowly insane so if my entries get bad, tell me. The heart has its reasons that the mind does not know.

P.S. Did you know French Guy's name was Pascal? *swoon* I want French Guy back! Now it's more the loins has it's reasons that the mind does not know...

New Year...

Well its a huge whole new year. It's 2006. But let's, before we move on, look back on 2005, and muse on my biggest mistakes. My top 22 mistakes of 2005.

1. Moving in with a fundementalist Christain. As Robin Williams said, "God just went *click*."
2. Leaving a pot of porriage out in the backyard for two months. It was black, green and red by the end of it. What sort of mould is red?
3. Trusting my department. Enuff said.
4. Believing that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachley were really in love and truely meant to be. Yes, my friend, I do owe you money.
5. Also believing that some people come back to you. Fuck the whole "love is like a bird, hold it too tight and it will die, hold it too loose and it will fly away". Fuck it. No matter what your grip, it's gone.
6. Falling asleep on the beach with my book on my face. Let's just say it looks like my tan has gone really really wrong.
7. Watching Land of the Dead. There is a ZOMBIE CLOWN in it. It is too scary for words. I almost pissed in my pants. Seriously.
8. Getting involved with an older man. I'm not gonna go into details, let's just say, we're both pigs.
9. Letting my mom get to me. All the time.
10. Buying that pair of shoes. Oh they are pretty but they hurt but I look good. It was a waste of money but my feet look pretty.
11. Using a nice guy as a subsitiute for the person I can never have. I have wanted to say I'm sorry and tell you, but the words never came out.
12. Not bothering too much with assignments and handing them all up a day late. I really shouldn't develop that habit.
13. Not have broken that cup. Ummm It's another shame I bear. MSN me.
14. Maybe I should not have taken that shopping basket. It was red and new and I wanted something to just take. :( I am a bad bad person.
15. Another thing was bitching about a certain male in earlier entries. Not really a mistake. He took it very hard, assuming I was writing about him. Snap judgements can be so unfair.
16. Watching all 4 seasons of Scrubs in a row. My butt may never recover.
17. Distributed porn to friends. Cos some people *cough* have no internet access at home therefore I was DOWNLOADER GIRL. Saviour of poor souls with tired arms. I don't really like porn in a way. And I really didnt wanna support the industry. What's done is done.
18. Ate nothing but Mamee, rice and natto for week. Dogs all over came rushing to lick me for their daily salt intake.
19. Got depressed when I realised Travis Fimmel may not even be human. Nor John Zimmerman IV. All good looking men are aliens.
20. Got even more depressed when I realised that most of the men I go for are animated. Or are dumb. Key example: Ed. From the tvshow, Ed.
21. Watching "House", the first season, in almost one sitting. I sense a pattern with me. But is it just me, or is Hugh just simply screwable?
22. Not realising my blog was a public thing and people could just read it. Hell, anyone can just read it.

So yes, that's the happy list. It's the gist of the year. I have done things I am proud of, things that are good. But hey, misery loves company and I'm providing comfort to all the miserable people out there.

I think there may be more unhappy people than happy.

Smile! It's a brand new sparkling year!

Just more time to fuck it up :)

Listening to: "It's the end of the world as we know it" by R.E.M. (Watched Chicken Little in 3D! Go see!)