Why am I not in show business?

LOOK AT ME! I'M WRITING!

I actually watched House of Wax today. It's amazing how they made Australia seem so American. But, I write this because, if Paris Hilton can be an 'actress' (Please note: The term 'actress' here is to be defined rather widely...), so can I. The only facial expressions I saw, was slutty, scared and oh yes, dead. She died in a rather glorious manner, in which I was laughing very loudly in the cinema.

I could feel the hatred, waves of absolute disgust, hitting me. Or perhaps, it was the woman behind me, marinated in perfume. Worst thing? She was sitting 2 rows behind me. Even more worst? Forgive the grammars, I come from Sing-ga-pooooore. She was wearing, my all time non-favorite scent, Estee Lauders Pleasure. Or is it Pleasures? I find that scent particularly headache inducing, so I was not a happer camper. And, I strongly suspect, she was a Paris fan. That, is the worstest of all.

But how did Paris die? Let's say, she's no more intelligent dead than she was alive. As in most people, being killed in the manner that she was, would have lost quite a fair bit of gray matter. I know she's human too, but must she torment us all? In magazines, everywhere, was bad enough. Then she invaded our tv screens, then movies and soon, an album. Where she sings. I hope she sings better than she ummm *cough*, acts.

And, oh my, the way she runs. If a crazed man with a sharpen knife in each hand was hunting me down, for the sole purpose of feeling my hot hot blood spilling against his face, I would run like hell. No... She, still in a hooker-red bra and bun-free underwear, trots. She totters on her high heels, chest still thrust out, pausing occasionally to push back a stray bit of blonde hair. She runs and still tries to look good. She loses the heels after a while, not of her own free will mind you, I could see her holding back the tears. Awww, where were the shoes from??? Alan Pinkus? Channel? DKNY? Club X? I would guess the last. It had transparent heels. You know the type... But... Oh but... The best is yet to come.

Yes, she gets mutilated, and killed. I like. I likey verrrrrrrry much. I know I'm a bit morbid, enjoying her death. But, I was happy. It was worth my $5.70. I'm still not spilling how she died, check on the internet.

I should go into the movies. Or at least, stand up comedy. Or stage. Or I like to think I have a face for radio. Haha. I'm also good at insulting myself.

Face for radio. That's a good one.