Experiment!

I am still gagging myself with laughter.

Someone sent me an invite for LoveHappens. Some werid match making website. I thought, "Why not?"

And joined up.

Before anyone disses me, let me say one thing.

I was bored and very suntanned.

I say the sun got to my pretty little head.

I am gonna experiment here, see if normal people, like moi, actually roam the digital internet highway. I'll be the innocent hitch-hiker and let's see if anyone can pick me up (haha geddit? Pick me up? Never mind...) and not turn me into a bloated corpse with her eyes plucked up and with various kitchen appliances shoved into and up various umm outlets on my body.

So yes, other than discussing my impending murder, I decided to try it.

Heck, some person or another I should know must have found someone nice. Remember, 6 degrees of seperation.

I'll keep all updated and perhaps we can share a good laugh.

Christmas was an interesting time. I got presents from Milla's family and none from mine. Hmm...

Anyway, I went for Christmas Mass at the catheral here in Adelaide. I recieved communion from the Archbishop. His Grace... blah blah...

But I was a bit nervous. Cos the last time I saw the Archbishop, he wasn't in his fancy robes or waving that staff around, he was in his underwear.

BOXER SHORTS!

I know they are just people too, but there's something very wrong and unnatural seeing a holy man half naked. But why did I see His Grace as such?

My ex was working as a chef at the Archbishop's house. I went to pick him up from work one day. Seeing the state of the expresso machine, the inner barista in me emerged, and I had to clean it. Looking out of the window, I saw a man. In the garden, walking up and down. In his underwear. Calling for my ex, I expressed an interest in the strange man.

"Come meet Phillip."

Okies, I replied. Going out, we exchanged greetings and my ex then kindly told me he was the Archbishop. Imagine my shock at calling an Archbishop by his first name and seeing him in boxers.

So, recieving communion from him, I almost laughed and spit out the wine.

It all seems a bit wrong but, my God, it was funny.

I have to create my own entertainments in life.

LoveHappens is one of them. As mentioned, will keep people updated. Let's feel pity for the poor sods whom might find me attractive!

Smithers, Christmas is upon us!

Almost anyway...

BUT!

Before we proceed, I would like to announce, although my legs are bruised, I was not indulging in any forms of beastility to cause the bruises. Not even, to quote the ass at Mackers on Hindley, "Got fucked by a shark?"

His language not mine. I would never consort to that sort of language. I was in Hindley in a bikini COVERED up in a towel. Milla and I went midnight swimming and wanted a hot fudge sundae. We were tempted to go to the pool hall. Geddit? Pool hall? In bikinis? *nudge nudge*

NEVER MIND! I know I lack intelligence in the humor department.

Anyway, I miss my most favored concubine at the moment.

OH OH OH

THE PAIN!!! *groan*

I miss her too much. We have to go a-smoking again soonish. Just looking at the picture and seeing how beautiful she is, brings tears to my eyes. I shall compose a sonnet about her perfectly cut toenails. Such is the depth of my love.

Anyway, back to the topic. Xmas is upon us and tis the season to be merry and happy and drunk and grumpy.

It always brings out a whole mixed cauldron of emotions.

It's the first time Im having Xmas away from my family. I'm not sad about that and I think it's kinda sad the only thing I know I will really miss is the food and my dogs.

Erica (hellos mamajaja) is gonna be in Hokkaido. I think I spelt that wrong. Anyway, freaking cold place in Japan. And she is coming home for Chinese New Year!

Erica and me have a strange bond. We almost NEVER get sick of each others' company. Cos we know when to shut up, have a coffee and smoke. It is hard to talk with coffee and nicotine in your mouth.

I miss her and my second wife too.

Christmas is a time to think and love even more, those that we cherish and adore. I sound a bit wussy but I love my friends a lot.

Can't wait to see all those I haven't seen for ages.

I'm back in Singapore 10th Jan. Not for the reasons I wanted to. I was pissed off at first, but now, I'm trying to look on the bright side.

Hate being sick!

"I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day and assume they deserve it." - Dogbert


Well, I have been too sick the last few days. I am out for the 'oh fernie' and sympathy thing here.

So what can I do?

I put out the oh-so-irresistably-cute picture of me sleeping with Piglet. In my Spongebob Squarepants pjs which, incidentally, are put on backwards. The pink bows are suppose to be on the front, dammnit!

We shall also ignore the fact that I am so clogged up (or was) that I woke myself up with my own snorting. Snoring for the common folk but snorting was the most accurate term I could use here. Some people have complained that I snore loudly. I will not name names.

Luck!

Ok, so I decided to stay in the good old land of Oz, the great Down Under, for summer.

What do I get?

RAIN! In summer, I have to wear a wool coat at night to edge out for a smoke.

Today has been a werid day. Let's play 'good luck, bad luck'.

GOOD LUCK:

I got a free mouse. I cannot resist abandoned animals.

BAD LUCK:

Where do I put it and how do I not kill it?

GOOD LUCK:

Nice movie in with loads of candles

BAD LUCK:

Managed to catch some of my hair on fire. Seriously.

GOOD LUCK:

Got a brand new hairbrush, the ones where u can roll your hair.

BAD LUCK:

Brush got into hair, cannot come out. Had to have Milla help detangle it from my head.

GOOD LUCK:

Inherited loads of cool stuff from Thompson.

BAD LUCK:

Transfer of ownership of 'rubbish' from him to me. Where do I put all this stuff and do I really really need a tiny battery operated cream whipper???

So today, I have a new 'child', shorter hair on one side of my hair, the other side with more hair than nessesary pulled out and a living room full of stuff. Oh did I mention the fish?

Or 'That Fish' as it is called.

The first fish was Vish the Fish. He had some emotional problems and successfully killed himself.

The second one was Other Fish. He had an aquired brain injury. Due to too much alcohol (red wine mostly) and probably the weed as well. He lived long but was a wee bit troubled towards the end.

The new fish is That Fish. He has ADHD. And anger management issues. He's been banging himself against the bowl for hours. Not to mention he struggled in the plastic bag. And was a bitch to catch in the shop.

We wanted the most stupid looking fish and he turned out reasonably intelligent.

Snap judgements can be so unfair.

New People

Been meeting a whole bunch of werid new people and a couple of old ones...

Here's a simple list

1. 3 people whom work for BHP at the corner of Rundle Street and Frome St. They were actually nice and the 2 guys were not after sex. For once.
2. A guy from Laos (whom I asked how were the beaches in Laos and then suddenly remembered the country is next to Cambodia and IN THE MIDDLE of a bunch of countries i.e. no coast) in which I met at a garage sale I was helping out at for a friend
3. 4 cool people from Darwin at the Seacliff beach. Did I mention the guy from Laos was there as well? Free beer, sun, sand and sea. Who could ask for more?
4. Poopise and Wallo, old friends from last year. We used to chill all the time and then they kinda disappeared for a while. Well... they're back! I missed you guys! :)

And believe it, all in about 24 hours.

Isn't it amazing when you just about give up on the human race, then something happens to make you feel wow all over again?

Hopefully, the lucky streak lasts.

And I still want the courage to tell someone that I hang out with him, as a subsitute for someone else. Someone I can't have.

But, enough of my whinging. It's all good at the moment.

Although I'm so dark, people think I'm Cambodian. Not that that is a bad thing.

I like being tanned.

Bad news galore.

I don't even know why I am here anymore.

But, I am.

And all this news, it actually cracks my heart a little bit.

Oh well.

I'm grumpy and feeling a tad bit lost.

*sigh*

It was only a kiss...

Inspiration from the Killers.

If only more men wore eyeliner. It does make them look VERY good. *purr*

Holidays and now, I offically have nothing to do.

But, my social life if anything is a bit crazy.

I was in the backyard today, sunbathing. I have trucker's tan so I'm very attractive at the moment.

Anyway, I was reading an Anne Rice novel. And it was Lestat's take on things. And suddenly, it hit me.

I know it sounds silly, but mortal or not, we all suck majorly at mantaining MOST relationships.

Once the word 'love' or kissing happens, stuff becomes WAY too complicated. No wonder most vampires are gay, the women are too too fucked up. Look at Claudia. *shudder*

By the way, is it just me, or do sexy smothering hot male bisexual vampires just make your lower regions quiver?

I thank God the most important thing in my life right now, besides food and shoes and reading and other girly stuff, is to even out my tan.

I sound shallow, probably am right now, I have nothing else to worry about, til next March.

Oh boy.

Can't believe I live in this country.

Some people are married to their jobs.

It's a bit 'eeeeeeeeeee' but I respect that people can do what they want.

Hey it's legal.

Read bout it all here.

Anger, fear and words

Words said in anger, some people say is not true.

I beg to differ.

Words said in anger is the truth at that point of time.

And I do not care anymore.

Threats, shouting, fights, hitting. I have had enough.

I do feel, but I choose to not take any of those feelings seriously.

It's no point.

I have been accused of things, happenings.

I have to report my movements, it seems.

I cannot have a smoke, tea and a chat with a friend. Even though the friend is an ex-lover.

I normally like keeping my friends.

According to the 'fighter', I do not want the friendship. Now for now, yes, these may be words said in anger, I don't.

I do not like being pushed. I spend time with her and do almost everything with her as well.

But, when I head over, to the neighbour's for a smoke, I am 'sneaking'.

She had to sleep cos of her morning duty.

If we were noisy, I am sorry.

If you feel excluded, well, you hate him, or dislike him strongly, why torment yourself with his presense?

All this, I have said to you.

I am not blameless, I am sure.

I do not want to isolate myself because of you.

And, last night, the comment about him being home. Gee, innocent.

I fear you.

I'm actually afraid you will hit me again.

Example SMS:

"U just have to do the opposite of what ppl ask u to do an must prove a point all the fucking time. U do not need my permission and u do not need to tell me anything.But when it is excluding flatmates like that on what i feel is purpose just so u can prove ur point and "look at me i can do something u cant" behaviour then i react. As I said,do what u want.U care about men more than friends coz they give you attention and sex friends dont.Harsh but one day when u are interested in listening to my point of view u might see it. And if you feel gulity about yday u obviously did something coz i did not say anything.Just thinking it."

Ok. Yesterday? Well, Eugene spoke to me.

I know I am airing dirty landry. So?

I do not like the way you judge my friends. I can't help being friendier than you.

I tried. And I already said, honestly, I cannot understand it. I tried. But I can't.

And if last night has to come up again. I feel gulity cos I commented he was at home? I felt bad that you took it so hard.

You ran off without a word bout what was wrong. Just thinking it? Body language, darling.

And if you do feel I am such a horrid person, please, don't speak to me.

And the other flatmates, well, I seem how they CAN lead seperate lives.

Why haven't I invited Andrew back?

You hate him. Sadly, neighbour lives here.

And I like chilling with him.

Eugene told me to avoid him to keep you happy. If you take all my actions so personally, please.

It's your choice.

I like having other friends, as you do.

I know we both have invested a lot of time and effect into this relationship.

I am not leaving you, I just need some other people.

A lot of my friends have always been male.

And I enjoy male company, their views are different and it's fun.

I can't change your mind, I don't want to.

Just see that stuff I do, is not a personal attack.

As I said, I can't stop your feelings, how you choose to do with it.

I know I am going down to your level, bitching bout me on your blog. Pointing the finger and veiled references to me.

I do everything wrong to ya.

And it's just too bad.

I enjoy a cone occasionally, and you have always known that.

So yes, it's nothing new.

I might regret saying this, cos when we talk, we both don't listen.

We both want to be right and we are both stubborn.

You say I push you, the same can be said on my side.

You are my friend and we are going through a bad patch.

I'm on holidays, you need to sleep, I chill out with another friend.

You fear I will be like your other housemates.

I'm sorry that you don't know me better.

Fear causes irrational feelings.

That's fear.

It chills the mind and I know you been burnt before.

I'm not them.

And if the conversation stops when you come, maybe it's cos you come screaming at me and telling me to come back in 5minutes for a talk. And then its followed by glass breaking and the throwing of my poor belchan.

As I said, the clothes are being aired.

I'm tired. I don't need this anymore.

I offered not to move in.

But it wouldnt have made a difference.

Cos if I came to see ya, or him, I would still piss you off.

My thoughts are random cos I am angry.

So yes, if everything can be good, then bad. What changed?

And Eugene saving my ass?

I have done nothing wrong.

And gulit, well, you place it on me all the time now.

If Eugene saves me from being hit, I am happy.

Another cultural difference maybe, friends don't hit friends. Or at least not among my friends.