Sleepless Where-ever

Okay. It's almost 4am and yet the Sandman has yet to toss his blinking sand in my eyes.

I admit, I love my sleep but getting to the sleeping bit??

Tough.

I am an insomniac. And for fuck's sake this is not funny anymore.

It's annoying to have to pop a pill to sleep. It's annoying when you don't and you just lie in bed, and your head just buzzes with the most stupid, random things.

Should I mop the floor?

Say, what was the names of all the people in Take That? (Actually and sadly true) Gary Barlow, Something Owen, Robbie Williams and who gives a crap bout the other two? Actually, who gives a crap about any of them at all?

What would happen if Logan and Joan actually got together? (My Sims2 charaters)

Should they have a baby or adopt?

Maybe if I won the sweepstakes, what would I do? What percentage should I save? How bout that bag? And my first Jimmy Choos! Not to mention a car. Hmmm...

Am I really doing okay?

Do people actually like me?

Does anyone but me notice how fat I am???

My mind wanders. And this highly annoys me.

Things in my life irritate me. I can't seem to find joy in much these days. Except smoking and the occasional booze.

I feel life is going downhill.

I doubt sometimes that my friends are my friends. Maybe I'm a pity 'mate'.

Maybe I'm a pity fuck as well. Maybe that's why I attract werido men. Anywhere in the world, HOW THE FUCK DO THEY FIND ME?

I love and hate my friends at the same time. How two faced is that? I know it is but, I can't help how I feel. I do control my actions but isn't that little voice in you, just deserves to be spliced?

It's odd how I really don't want a boyfriend but I envy (a little bit) those whom do. I mean, it must be nice to have someone there most of the time.

I'm bored, honey. Let's just hang out and watch DVDs. Okies, sure thing. I mean, your weekends and nights and days are sorta planned. And if not, BACKUP!

I do enjoy my alone time. I truly do. But sometimes, I crave people, but when I get them, I feel I have to smile just cos I should.

Smile, smile, smile.

I'm not saying I don't enjoy company. Sometimes, it's just too much hard work.

I'm tired now, but my eyes won't close and give me peace.

I'm out of pills as you can see. Wednesday, I shall be able to sleep once more.

The only thing with pills, that I really miss, are my dreams.

I don't remember any of my dreams anymore.

I miss them.