Oh, I do love to be by the seaside!

"I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day and assume they deserve it." - Dogbert

Despite the fact its winter. Or is it? I am so sick today. My poor tropical body cannot stand the sudden changes in weather. 5 days ago, it was freezing cold. Then for the weekend, it was warm. I could wear my indecent postage stamp skirt during the day. Then, now its cold again. Winter came back for a while. And I am now sick.

The ups and downs. Sorta like home. Singapore I mean. I should technically, be used to the flactuating weather conditions. For example, back home, in the space of 5mins, you can jump from a lovely enviroment of 18 degrees to 36 degrees, as soon as you step out of a shopping mall, train station, bus. That's a difference of 18 degrees. Double the heat in less the time.

But I hardly get sick back home. Must be the company of my dogs.

And one thing I enjoy doing, which is odd, is eating ice cream in winter. You are all bundled up, warm and toasty inside and then you get ice cream. The cold chills your mouth and you struggle to eat it, but once its in, its all warm and gooey. I did that during an English and Canadian winter. I never seem to travel to that part of the world at any other season.

But winter, its almost over. There's nothing I love more during winter, other than ice cream or seeing your breath (you can do it in singapore as well, if you smoke), is having someone to hold hands with.

Holiday romances are fun. But, my favorite memory, is strolling down Robson, and then he smiles at me. Asks if I'm cold. Kisses me on the forehead when I do not answer, but silently reaches out to hold my hand. And we stay that way, for a while. Holding hands at Granville Island, stealing kisses on the street. Sharing hot caramel apple ciders on the beach. Yes, all during winter.

There's nothing quite like having someone to love. But for now, I have my friends. I do love them, I do adore them. But sometimes, like when I'm sick, and alone (people still have uni and jobs to go to. sadly the world doesnt end cos I am sick), i get a bit, mmm, I don't quite know.

Just been going to the beach recently. Stirring up a lot of memories.

Some memories are better left unremembered. But, I have shared some here, but most I keep inside. My little treasure box of happier times. When I am alone, I take one out at a time, examining it and basking in the glow of it. It's hard sometimes, when you forget how its like to be happy. Memories remind you. But, its no point living in the past, but you have to, sometimes, or I have to. I need to remind myself to smile.

You smile, you laugh, you jest, you smile.

I shall dream of days, when I can sit on the beach, ice cream in one hand and a warm hand in the other. I wait, and imagine how it would be like, watching the dogs play on the sand, ice cream dripping down my hand, and more stolen kisses.

Some day, maybe. But for now, I shall sit by the sea side. Watching the waves crash into each other, and the smiling faces of people around me.

I do feel so lonely sometimes. It doesn't help that your best friends are on the other side of the world, with all the continents thought possible seperating you.

Reminds me of a cheesy Elvis (?) song, 'I'm so lonely, I'm so lonely, I could die.'