"I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day and assume they deserve it." - Dogbert
I have always thought that penguins were evil.
Something about them. The little suits they wear, they look all decent. They stand around, their heads held high, hypocritical bastards.
I never liked Chilly Willy. Always thought he hid something under that red beanie of his, probably a chainsaw, a flamethrower or a pack of cigs. Evil Chilly Willy.
Then came the life changing event, where i accidently led or umm, 'pushed' a penguin to its death. Hey, it chose death over my presense. But it evily decided to die on my 21st birthday and i think he cursed me with his dying breath. Bad penguin voodoo. They probably make little dolls of ME and sell it in their version of borders. Pretend its your boss! *poke poke*
Then, the most updated example is the movie 'Madagascar'. Yes, cute and cuddly BUT evil.
I have overused to word evil. And I have figured out something.
Not many people go to Antarctica yet because it is under penguin rule.
All hail the Emperor of all Penguins!
I kiss your delicate royal webbed feet.
Please don't kill me.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Secrets
"I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day and assume they deserve it." - Dogbert
She is still sitting. And watching. The lights outside flicker. Shadows are thrown against the cars and the trees. The shadows twist and curl to fit. They shift shapes occasionally, as if to hide a secret.
We all have secrets. Secrets we have to bear on our own. Secrets we have to keep within. Like Pandora's box, we hide it to save the world. Or we hide it to save ourselves, to preserve what we are. The lies, the deceptions, the truths so ingained in lies, no one knows, or can distangle the two anymore.
She shakes her head. Wisps of hair falls naturally around her head. She tucks a runaway lock behind her ear. The contact the tip of her finger makes with her ear sents a jolt of awareness through her.
She is alive. She feels dead. In an unpredictable world, where luck seems to flutter and throw careless gifts at the feet of random people, she is alive. She feels her chest and is awed by the sound and feel of her beating heart. Thump, thump, it goes faster, like a secret desperately wanting to escape. She presses harder, as if she could draw more life out of herself that way.
Thump, thump, thump.
The rhythm eases her. Relaxes her. It should not. She opens her eyes, unaware of the fact that they were closed. Secrets want to come out. She places her other hand upon the other, it seems clasped in a secret prayer.
Help me be still. Help me be numb. Help me be silent. Help me, to not be me.
She is alive. She still feels dead. The lights start to flicker once more and the shadows begin again, their secret dance, hiding their secret treasures from the world.
She is still sitting. And watching. The lights outside flicker. Shadows are thrown against the cars and the trees. The shadows twist and curl to fit. They shift shapes occasionally, as if to hide a secret.
We all have secrets. Secrets we have to bear on our own. Secrets we have to keep within. Like Pandora's box, we hide it to save the world. Or we hide it to save ourselves, to preserve what we are. The lies, the deceptions, the truths so ingained in lies, no one knows, or can distangle the two anymore.
She shakes her head. Wisps of hair falls naturally around her head. She tucks a runaway lock behind her ear. The contact the tip of her finger makes with her ear sents a jolt of awareness through her.
She is alive. She feels dead. In an unpredictable world, where luck seems to flutter and throw careless gifts at the feet of random people, she is alive. She feels her chest and is awed by the sound and feel of her beating heart. Thump, thump, it goes faster, like a secret desperately wanting to escape. She presses harder, as if she could draw more life out of herself that way.
Thump, thump, thump.
The rhythm eases her. Relaxes her. It should not. She opens her eyes, unaware of the fact that they were closed. Secrets want to come out. She places her other hand upon the other, it seems clasped in a secret prayer.
Help me be still. Help me be numb. Help me be silent. Help me, to not be me.
She is alive. She still feels dead. The lights start to flicker once more and the shadows begin again, their secret dance, hiding their secret treasures from the world.
Hongie! This one is for you!
Hongie! I miss you so much!
Chin up, all will be well. I will always be your man. You are my gay side relationship which must remain a secret. My 2 wives and 3 concubines must never know.
No matter what happens, come what may, you will always have me.
I love you to death, Hongie. You are the bestest friend I could ever wish for.
Kindergarten, Woodlands Primary School, secondary school, poly, night school, Simply Bread, the army and Uni, all the things we go through together.
The New Year Eves spent under the bridge, alone except for the sounds of our own cheers at midnight. The strolls in the War Memorial, looking at Captain Peacock's stone, chasing grasshoppers in the children's grave yard. Shopping for cheap clothes in JB. The tears we cried over bastard men, how we watched our first movie at Yishun. It was Mortal Kombat, a classic film based on the hit banned video game. At least, in Singapore.
Digging out cat skulls in the long jump sand pit in the back of Woodlands Primary School. Putting the blame on me... *groooowl*
But, since the age of 4, our friendship has grown by leaps and bounds.
I will always love you, baby. You are really my soul mate.
Who needs Travis Fimmel when I have you?
I know whatever you choose in life, you will do so based on what is good for you. You know what to do. I can't wait to see you in November in Adelaide.
We had a great eighteen years together. May we have a few 'eighteen' more.
I love ya Hongie.
Chin up, all will be well. I will always be your man. You are my gay side relationship which must remain a secret. My 2 wives and 3 concubines must never know.
No matter what happens, come what may, you will always have me.
I love you to death, Hongie. You are the bestest friend I could ever wish for.
Kindergarten, Woodlands Primary School, secondary school, poly, night school, Simply Bread, the army and Uni, all the things we go through together.
The New Year Eves spent under the bridge, alone except for the sounds of our own cheers at midnight. The strolls in the War Memorial, looking at Captain Peacock's stone, chasing grasshoppers in the children's grave yard. Shopping for cheap clothes in JB. The tears we cried over bastard men, how we watched our first movie at Yishun. It was Mortal Kombat, a classic film based on the hit banned video game. At least, in Singapore.
Digging out cat skulls in the long jump sand pit in the back of Woodlands Primary School. Putting the blame on me... *groooowl*
But, since the age of 4, our friendship has grown by leaps and bounds.
I will always love you, baby. You are really my soul mate.
Who needs Travis Fimmel when I have you?
I know whatever you choose in life, you will do so based on what is good for you. You know what to do. I can't wait to see you in November in Adelaide.
We had a great eighteen years together. May we have a few 'eighteen' more.
I love ya Hongie.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Tra la la la la la la la la...
She sits by her laptop, not sure what to type. Unsure of what life is about, what the future holds for one small unimportant soul in the field of the universe.
Her head is a mess. A complicated, tangled ball of twine, unable to see where it begins, and where it all ends. Her fingers curl and uncurl, the feel of her skin stretching over her knuckles makes her feel alive.
Inside, she is empty. On the outside, she smiles. She chatters, she smokes cheerfully, takes her beer like a man. Conversation is dragged out, the strings are tightened on her smile. Her eyes remain the same.
Dead, empty. Flat. Like empty pools of lifeless lakes, nothing lives undernearth.
She is but one, in the land of many.
She knows it, accepts it. She is glad.
One small soul is not too much to miss.
Her head is a mess. A complicated, tangled ball of twine, unable to see where it begins, and where it all ends. Her fingers curl and uncurl, the feel of her skin stretching over her knuckles makes her feel alive.
Inside, she is empty. On the outside, she smiles. She chatters, she smokes cheerfully, takes her beer like a man. Conversation is dragged out, the strings are tightened on her smile. Her eyes remain the same.
Dead, empty. Flat. Like empty pools of lifeless lakes, nothing lives undernearth.
She is but one, in the land of many.
She knows it, accepts it. She is glad.
One small soul is not too much to miss.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Trouble in Paradise
LOOK AT ME! I'M WRITING!
It is cold. So cold in Adelaide. It's not as bad as all the snow and stuff in Victoria but... Yes, it is cold.
My blog is deliriously boring. As my life is. And its sad not to be able to write anything interesting about your life. When you struggle to find an interest in life, a joy in it. Its a rather depressing topic to chat about but here it is.
The most exciting thing i did today was my lame attempt to clog my artries. In my korean kimchi flavored 2min noodles, I had 2 eggs. I even ate both yolks. I shall ignore the gasps of shock horror and concern that I hear.
And worst comes to worst, Im not even interested in sex anymore. Its boring, its dull, its lost its sheen. I'm not interested in men at all now.
All I want is my bed, my blanket, Piglet and a whole lotta sleep.
Uni is killing me already, its only week 3. How can one bloody place be so bad?? And yes, good old F.U. is a decent uni, the best in South Australia. Universtiy of Adelaide and Uni of SA is in the bottom 5.
Haha, maybe it doesnt suck as much as I think it does. I shouldnt write such entries. too personal but for now, after 4 beers, I dont care.
It is cold. So cold in Adelaide. It's not as bad as all the snow and stuff in Victoria but... Yes, it is cold.
My blog is deliriously boring. As my life is. And its sad not to be able to write anything interesting about your life. When you struggle to find an interest in life, a joy in it. Its a rather depressing topic to chat about but here it is.
The most exciting thing i did today was my lame attempt to clog my artries. In my korean kimchi flavored 2min noodles, I had 2 eggs. I even ate both yolks. I shall ignore the gasps of shock horror and concern that I hear.
And worst comes to worst, Im not even interested in sex anymore. Its boring, its dull, its lost its sheen. I'm not interested in men at all now.
All I want is my bed, my blanket, Piglet and a whole lotta sleep.
Uni is killing me already, its only week 3. How can one bloody place be so bad?? And yes, good old F.U. is a decent uni, the best in South Australia. Universtiy of Adelaide and Uni of SA is in the bottom 5.
Haha, maybe it doesnt suck as much as I think it does. I shouldnt write such entries. too personal but for now, after 4 beers, I dont care.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Hmmm... Where have all the people gone?
LOOK AT ME! I'M WRITING!
Adelaide
On a plane
Far from the united states Of LA
Dropping in from outer space
Takes a day
Now I see the Bogans
At the motor race
Here you know the world could turn
Or crash and burn
And you would never know it
Going where the air is clear
There’s better beer in Adelaide
Charlie L. Smith's forty
Someone spiked my rice
The rest, history
Now I am a fixture down
Rundle Mall Watching as the locals pass
Silver balls I can see their eyes are round
They’re pointed down
They scan the spanning sidewalks
Learning that there is no hurry
Fuss or worry
Adelaide
Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
It’s raining
In Adelaide
A face is waiting in a window
A voice says
Why Adelaide
You could live anywhere and I say
Because I want to
Because I want to
I really really want to
And you know the earth could turn
Or crash and burn
And you would never know it
Really got to make it to the finish line
Get the record done on time
Pack the bags
And catch a flight
And you can kiss my ass goodbye
I'm in Adelaide
Adelaide
Adelaide
Adelaide
- Ben Folds Five: Adelaide
According to the fabled words of Ben Folds Five, the only reason to be in Adelaide is because 'you want to'. That may be true, but apparently, based on weekend events, not many people want to.
Milla and me wanted to get drunk and go out dancing. Note: No one else here seems to like to go out. Anyway, we got bored at about 1230am. I am guessing time here. Got out and decided to go to the casino's 24/7 bar, there might be sign of human life there.
As we were walking, we saw more people in Hungry Jacks that was at the corner of Rundle Mall. And they were playing better dancing music than the clubs we were in. And they just had the radio on!!! Walking walking, past the silver balls, and then we were just outside the Meyers centre, heart of the city.
This young man and a group of his friends stopped us. Opening his mouth, he was obviously Victorian (distintive accents), he asked very politely (nice change from adelaide men), where the city centre was. Milla and me could just hopelessly stare at each other and i piped up.
"I am so sorry, but you are in the city centre. The centre of the centre."
Looks of disappointment and disbelief flooded their faces, as they thanked us and made their move. Milla and me, tickled yet killed slightly by this incident, decided to fuck all and take a cab back.
As we passed by clubs, there were no lines, no sign of anything or anyone. Bouncers stood there, restless and bored. But, here comes the moment of truth, we passed by a BP on East Terrace, there at a CARWASH, was 4 people washing their cars and a whole line of people( at least 4-6 cars) waiting to wash theirs. Why is there a lineup outside a carwash at 1am on a friday night?
People must be bored.
I will keep telling myself Adelaide is great. I have some time left to go here.
Beacuse I want to, I really really want to....
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Why??? Why???
LOOK AT ME! I'M WRITING!
Why is life so damn funny? Mr Wanger (from the howcorni.blogspot.com) has the most funny funny funny funny MSN nickname ever. It's 'livestrong- found out that xenical and KFC is a bad mix'. Who would announce their bowel movements so publicly and presumably to family and friends??
Plus, Mr Wanger. Fine, Cornelious. I said his real name! That's cos Im pissed off that he won't give me back my CDs. He says he hates the whole teenage 'crap jap' music, so gimme back! My Dragon Ash, Hirai Ken and Nanase Aikawa CDs are still trapped in his car. I don't blame Wedges the car but... Gimme back! GIMME!
Also, why do stupid people roam the earth? And why do they gravitate towards me? Is there something in the core of my being that is attractive, alluring, irresitable to people with single digit IQs and EQs? Plus the people severly lacking social skills and graces?
My best friend, Hongie, has the same problem as I do. He told me a side spilting story just now. He overheard one of his bunk mates (he is chained to the singapore army at the moment) sharing a tit bit of information with the rest. It is awesome.
He said, "Do you know, that in ancient England ah, the word 'gay' used to be like meaning happy lor. Funny, huh?"
Ancient England? You mean pre-plague or post-plague? And I didn't realise that the dictionary meaning of the word 'gay' had changed. It's more used as a slang term now, but... I wonder where they get their information from. Amazing.
I was also asked today where in Australia was Singapore. Someone assumed it was a rural town/city/dirthole/cesspool of yobos.
I, very politely corrected the individual in question by stating no, but Singapore was actually a country in South East Asia. Blank look recieved. How do some people make it to university or to their 19th birthday without ever hearing the term Southeast Asia?
Anyway, ignoring the blank look, I did the explanation, near Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, air-finger drew a map on a imaginary globe.
Inspiration came across her face, and triumph ran in the her voice as she declared she figured out where Singapore was.
"It's near Africa, right?"
Why??? WHY??? WHHHHHHHHYYYY???
Why is life so damn funny? Mr Wanger (from the howcorni.blogspot.com) has the most funny funny funny funny MSN nickname ever. It's 'livestrong- found out that xenical and KFC is a bad mix'. Who would announce their bowel movements so publicly and presumably to family and friends??
Plus, Mr Wanger. Fine, Cornelious. I said his real name! That's cos Im pissed off that he won't give me back my CDs. He says he hates the whole teenage 'crap jap' music, so gimme back! My Dragon Ash, Hirai Ken and Nanase Aikawa CDs are still trapped in his car. I don't blame Wedges the car but... Gimme back! GIMME!
Also, why do stupid people roam the earth? And why do they gravitate towards me? Is there something in the core of my being that is attractive, alluring, irresitable to people with single digit IQs and EQs? Plus the people severly lacking social skills and graces?
My best friend, Hongie, has the same problem as I do. He told me a side spilting story just now. He overheard one of his bunk mates (he is chained to the singapore army at the moment) sharing a tit bit of information with the rest. It is awesome.
He said, "Do you know, that in ancient England ah, the word 'gay' used to be like meaning happy lor. Funny, huh?"
Ancient England? You mean pre-plague or post-plague? And I didn't realise that the dictionary meaning of the word 'gay' had changed. It's more used as a slang term now, but... I wonder where they get their information from. Amazing.
I was also asked today where in Australia was Singapore. Someone assumed it was a rural town/city/dirthole/cesspool of yobos.
I, very politely corrected the individual in question by stating no, but Singapore was actually a country in South East Asia. Blank look recieved. How do some people make it to university or to their 19th birthday without ever hearing the term Southeast Asia?
Anyway, ignoring the blank look, I did the explanation, near Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, air-finger drew a map on a imaginary globe.
Inspiration came across her face, and triumph ran in the her voice as she declared she figured out where Singapore was.
"It's near Africa, right?"
Why??? WHY??? WHHHHHHHHYYYY???
Monday, August 01, 2005
WOW! Technology is listening to me...
LOOK AT ME! I'M WRITING!
And drawing! The website likes me again. Please refer to the other 2 previous posts.
I am in my 2nd week. And I already have a 2000 word essay due next Wednesday.
School is bad!
What is wrong with the freaking world?
LOOK AT ME! I'M WRITING!
I'm back on my fags. As in cigs. I stopped for a while cos I wanted to. Or mainly cos I couldnt breathe! But I'm back now cos I am already stressed out about the new semester.
Joy. Assignments to write, people to invite, organizations to probe and question about their funding, videos to record of Fern attempting to counsel other people, posters to do, PRESENTATIONS, journals to keep... My life looks fun already.
Plus, today, on the way to class. I almost got knocked down by a bus. Yes, the stooooopid loop mini-bus that mindlessly travels around my university. Go Flinders University! GO F.U.!
I was crossing the street, (fine, jay walking. Why is it called jay walking anyway? Cos of all the birds that do it?) and I chewing on my raisin bread and brie. But, the bus turned, cars honked and Fern got bumped into. He slowed down, but still managed to hit me. I wasn't hurt, more freaked out than anything else. More brushed against, but still. I actually took the time to draw a map.
So, I was once again. Able to procastinate.
I'm back on my fags. As in cigs. I stopped for a while cos I wanted to. Or mainly cos I couldnt breathe! But I'm back now cos I am already stressed out about the new semester.
Joy. Assignments to write, people to invite, organizations to probe and question about their funding, videos to record of Fern attempting to counsel other people, posters to do, PRESENTATIONS, journals to keep... My life looks fun already.
Plus, today, on the way to class. I almost got knocked down by a bus. Yes, the stooooopid loop mini-bus that mindlessly travels around my university. Go Flinders University! GO F.U.!
I was crossing the street, (fine, jay walking. Why is it called jay walking anyway? Cos of all the birds that do it?) and I chewing on my raisin bread and brie. But, the bus turned, cars honked and Fern got bumped into. He slowed down, but still managed to hit me. I wasn't hurt, more freaked out than anything else. More brushed against, but still. I actually took the time to draw a map.
So, I was once again. Able to procastinate.
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